Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Dictionary by Jari
I was about to enter the Cannon family. Chris had proposed earlier that evening and we were making the rounds – excited to spread the news of the event but a little nervous to meet the future in-laws (not that we hadn’t met before, but now it carried so much more weight). I had met Connie once or twice before (yes, Chris and I had a short courtship) and had always been impressed. She seemed totally together, the Cannon family was functional and they actually all liked one another (a fact I give Connie credit for). There was just one thing amiss. The first time I met her, Chris and I had been dating for no more than a few months but he had unilaterally decided it was time I met his mom. So in what I’m now convinced was a ruse to get me to 2550 Lynwood Drive, Chris enthusiastically told me about the cool dictionary he had received for Christmas that year that included ALL the words in the English language. Unfortunately, he kept the dictionary not at the house he shared with his roommates, but rather at his parent’s house. So we sauntered in one evening, frozen yogurts in hand, to gaze longingly upon this infamous dictionary. Chris must have staged it, because we walked through the garage and into the house, and there sat Connie at the dinner table, papers strewn all around her, obviously in the middle of a project. Chris asked her where his dictionary was (“How could he not know where his own dictionary was?” I thought). Connie knew exactly where to tell him to look. He went and got it while Connie and I, both unprepared for the moment, chit-chatted about nothing in particular. He returned, we gazed upon this most amazing of Christmas presents, and then prepared to leave. Then came the red flag: Chris left his dictionary in the middle of the kitchen table, obviously expecting Connie to put it back after we had gone. I was horrified, and said something to Chris about putting his dictionary back where he found it. He did, and as he did, Connie said something to me about being a good influence on him. I resolved right then and there that should this relationship progress farther, I would not be quite as accommodating as Connie. Call me the bad guy.